Vienna is grand. Unbelievably grand. Everywhere you look the architecture reminds you that this was once the capital of an empire. Palaces, sculpture, statues. It’s also very busy. It’s like Prague in that way. But where Prague sadly felt cheap and tacky in it’s touristy-ness, Vienna is refined and dignified. It’s also literally more expensive.

I need to return here when I have the funds to truly appreciate it. I also need more than a day and a half to appreciate it, but such is life.

Luckily, walking around the gardens of Schönbrunn Palace is free, but I just had to choose the coldest, most grey and grim day yet to do so. The gardens were nice, but I was walking fast to stay warm, and they would be nicer if the trees and hedges had leaves and the fountains were running. No matter.

While the famous National Art Museum, or whatever it’s called, would’ve been nice, it was pricey and no doubt busy on a Saturday. No problem, there are three museums that you can buy a joint ticket to for a third of the price of the big fancy one. And so I looked down upon my dominion (the whole world) at the Globe Museum, learned to communicate with all the peoples of my domain at the Esperanto Museum, and looked at old scraps of writing at the Papyrus Museum. All very interesting.

One experience in Vienna stood out above the others. Lunch. It could have been dinner, I suppose, but it was lunch. Let’s call it a meal. A meal was the thing that stood out in my time in Vienna. I picked this restaurant mostly because Google listed its price as only one dollar sign (which in Vienna is still more expensive than anywhere I’ve been since Finland). However, it turns out there was a more important reason why I went to the restaurant that day…

They were serving brains!

Yes indeed. Pig brains with egg, green onions, and parsley potatoes. I had to try it.

The brains were chopped up nice and small and mixed with scrambled eggs. You would never guess what it was to look at it. The brains were a bit grey, but basically blended in with the eggs. Their texture was gooey and viscous. It was a bit difficult to get past. The flavour was very mild. I couldn’t even say what it tasted like, mostly I could taste the eggs and green onions. All in all, a nice meal. I’m just disappointed that I don’t feel any smarter.

Well, that was Vienna. The last real stop on my travels for now. By the time you read this I’ll be on a bus all the way to London (budget airlines be damned). I’ll stay a night in London, with no time (and probably no energy) to look around, and then fly back to Canada. It’s been nice in Europe, but I’m looking forward to some peace and quiet.

Here’s some photos

The hiiiills are alive with the sound of . . . K̷̗͎͍̀̈́̑̀̏̅̈́͗̏̅̐ṙ̸͎͓̗̝̺̯̘͙̇͆͑͛̂͘̕̕͘͜͝á̶̧̫̠͖͙̋̎̒̾̓͒m̶͚̺͉̯̹͆̇̃̐́̒͋̈͒͑̎͆͝p̴̺̠̜͍̗̦̣̗̰̲͂̐̕ư̷̝̰̲͕̲͍̩͕͕̪͚̯̺̪̇̊́ͅs̶͇̥̖̞̼̪̥͕̪͙̼̤͍̭͍̔̋

Hmm… That’s not quite right. Let’s try again.

Do, a deer, a female deer

Ķ̸̥̠̙͚̐̒̿͒̀̇͆̓͠r͙̝̣̜͓̪̩̍͒̆̇̊a̷̳͈̤̙͍̤̿͆̾͜͝͠͞ṃ̢̧͉̜̘͋͐̓̃͞p̼̳͓̙̻̲̺̯̠̍̋͛̏͊̍͗͛͑ͅu̷̡̺̻̝̯̤̅̈́͌̆̋͜͜s̼͍̙̪̖͇̾̈́̔̅͊̏̍͊͑͠,̷̛̲͉͎̱̯͚̼̹̻̀̉̐̓͡ ả̶̡̙̝̩̱̜̼̐́̍̅̚̚ d͉̦̺͂̿̂̓͋͗͜͢ȩ̵̲͈̖̗̀͋̓̔̀͒̓̔̌m̡̛̛͈͈̮̥̹̔̂͊̃ǒ̶̟͉̝͙͖̠̠̳͂͂̒͘͟͢n̠̱͇͍̼͋̆́̾̇͋͘̚̕͞,̵̡͙͉̳̠͚̞͌̔̈̍͘̚͟͝ ȁ̰͎̪̩̤̆̐̀̑̏͠͡͞ Ĉ̴̛͍̭̟̳͕̟̥̺̈́̅̾̑͛̀͒͜ͅḩ̝̠̦̩̙̇̓̒̅̋̀͗̈͢r̨͇̗̳͍̲̤͔̥͍͆̈́͆́́̀i̥̣̹̬̫̿̃͊̄̎͢s̻̠̘͍̗͇̆̿̒̍̀̈̅̇̕̚t̡͈̣̼̙̩̩̣̘͋̓͋͌̎m̢̮͇̩̖̞̑́̃͂̇͒̀̽͟͟ͅa̵̢̛̲͉̟̍̎̍͘͢s̞̮̮̟͔̱̱͑͐͌͌͋͢͢͡ d̨͈͎͈̖͖͍͓͚͌́̆̾̑̊̐̿͜ȇ̖͙̗̮̥̱͉͎̒̑̌̊̈́m̛͍̜̭͍̼̈̆͗͂́̍͜͢ợ̶͕̫̗̼͓͈̞̯̽͂̍͌̓͑ņ̹͖̗͑̐͒̃̅̒̃̿̾͆͢

Yikes!

Salzburg is known for being the location where The Sound of Music was filmed. They also have a weird obsession with some guy called Mozart. I visited for neither of those reasons, although I did watch The Sound of Music at my hostel, since they play it EVERY NIGHT.

No no, I was not in Salzburg for music nor musicals, unless you count the clanging of bells and the screams of naughty children as music, which I suppose I do.

It’s a good thing that I was visiting Salzburg for an interesting seasonal event, cause it’s kinda boring here. It’s a beautiful city, and there’s plenty of history and things of interest. But after everywhere else I’ve visited recently, Salzburg lacks character. It’s too pleasant. There’s no grit or grime. Sorry Salzburg.

I still had a nice time here, short though it was. I walked up a couple hills, saw some buildings, relaxed. Winter is a nice time to visit as there are several Christmas markets in town, where you can buy Christmas-y things and, most importantly, mulled wine to keep you warm. It’s just a shame there was no snow to accentuate the holiday mood.

But no, I was not in Salzburg for the Christmas markets, spooky as rampant consumerism may be. I was in Salzburg for Krampus.

Krampus is a traditional character throughout the Alps. He is a demon who comes in December and beats naughty children with his stick. On Krampusnacht, December 5th, hordes of people parade through the streets dressed as Krampus, wearing intricately carved wooden masks and carrying bundles of sticks with which they beat the spectators.

Parade isn’t really the right word. It’s called Krampuslauf, which means Krampus-run. It’s a little like a parade. I stood in the cold and dark along the route, awaiting the arrival of the demons. In the distance cowbells rang out dully in the night, but they were not attached to cattle, they were a warning of what was to come.

Then they appeared. Goat-like demons with horrible faces rampaged down the street, eyeing the crowd for their victims. And then they were upon us. Screams rang out in the crisp night air as the Krampuses fell upon the crowd, their bundles of sticks lashing out and cracking against us. Some stood perfectly still, staring with ominously glowing eyes before lurching forward when least expected.

Okay, so they only hit people in the legs, and not too hard for the most part, but otherwise my description is quite sound. For half an hour this went on, as I alternated between being beaten and laughing uproariously when people next to me were beaten, all while trying to get some photos. Many Krampi stopped to let people take photos with them, and they shook hands with little children, or knelt down to give them a closer look at their masks. And then it was over.

Photos of Salzburg

Photos of Krampus (WARNING: Very Spooky!)